Going Insane

Tonight is one of those nights where I am ruled by shear panic of the fall to come. Wondering why did I decide to pick up my dragging feet off of the floor and have another child? They were doing pretty good just dragging along, dreaming of one day completing this family, but keeping me in the clear of any real reality of it.

The first week back from any school break is hard on Chance to readjust himself, and realize that during the school week, there just isn't much time do much besides sleep, eat, go to school and start it all over again. Poor kid really wants more time to just relax in front of the TV, play a computer game, build a lego tower. I get it. I do. But I am constantly pulled between letting him do what he wants to make him happy, and making him go to bed cause he really does need WAY more sleep than any other kid I know. And not to mention my patience levels at night start to wane, RAPIDLY, and so I am just as ready as his body is for him to go to bed.

This evening was just one of those times where I said to myself, "how will I be able to do this with 2 kids, no husband for months on end, while at the same time keeping my cool and keeping my sanity." EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK. NEVERMIND, I was just kidding. Is it possible to send it back?

Tonight went a little like this: Chance, it's time to brush your teeth when that show is over. OKAY MOM. Chance the shows over, turn off the TV and meet me in the bathroom. WAIT MOM, I AM SEEING WHAT'S ON NEXT. OH PLEASE MOM JUST ONE MORE SHOW, ITS VERY SHORT, I PROMISE ONLY ONE STORY IF I WATCH THIS SHOW. Ok, one show and one story, but that's it! OK MOM, I PROMISE. (shows over, we brush teeth, change clothes and begin to read. Story 1, and only, is over.) PLEASE MOM JUST ONE MORE STORY. WE DIDNT READ MY CURIOUS GEORGE BOOK AND I REALLY WANT TO. PLEASE MOM PLEASE. No Chance, a deal's a deal. CAN I HAVE SOME RUBS. THEY HELP ME RELAX. PLEASE MOM I REALLY WANT THEM, I AM SORE FROM ATHLETICS. Ok fine, a couple rubs. (Rubs are over). Time for bed, buddy, climb up in to your bed. NO MOM, I WANT MORE RUBS. JUST DO MY FEET AND HANDS NOW. (At this point by blood is about to boil over and soak his sheets). No Chance climb up in to your bed. Ok, lay down and I'll tuck you in. (Goodnights given, I leave the room). MOM, I NEED FRESH WATER. MOM, WHERE'S BA? CAN YOU HELP ME FIND HIM? (I come in to search for Ba, who after 5 minutes I figure out is hidden under Chance in an effort just to procrastinate bed time) Goodnight, this is enough. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. YOU DIDNT TUCK ME IN. MY COVERS ARE ALL MESSED UP.

At this point the covers are thrown over him, I storm out of the room, and wonder why my prayers for more patience aren't working. And then I say to myself again.....how in the hell will I do this? All these other moms do this and seem fine, why am I such a woos?